I apologize if the words are too small on your screen (because they are one mine).  I feel like again I have to complain about modern technology.  The reason I am not able to adjust the font is because my mouse doesn't work and hasn't worked since thursday.  I f I'm making any typographical errors that is why. because as I am typing there is a big "AOL Instant Messenger Error" sign right in my face that I can't use my task manager to remove.  Oh yeah, my phone isn't working right now either, suprise. 

This is so frustating right now lol.  I guess all you can do is laugh at the situation and hope you don't throw your phone or mouse... *shakes head* isn't technology great? 

Deep Thought: Why we cheat. Part 2: Boredom

The boredom aspect of cheating is pretty self explanatory but just for the sake of explaining it I will.  This could go along with the maturity issue but I’m not going to get that deep into it.  When you are with someone for a long time, like two weeks for some people, you start to get flat out bored.  They aren’t the same person they were when you got together.  Before you would go out on dates and take walks and talk on the phone all night and now you really don’t do anything but talk on the phone, “hi don’t know why I called you, bye” or “hi I just called you so you wouldn’t call me complaining that I didn’t call you, bye,” and go over each others house for whatever the reason.  I guess what people don’t realize is the same things that you were doing to get the person you are with are the same thing you are going to have to do to keep the person you are with.  Most people think, “Well I have them and they aren’t going to leave now,”… you could be right… they might not leave… but that doesn’t mean they aren’t with someone else too. 

When we get into relationships, after the first month or two, we start to get selfish because we know they are in a commitment and for them to leave would be a pretty painful thing to do, in some cases.  So we stop coming off of self.  We stop spending the time or money that we invested in to start the relationship to keep the relationship moving.  If you don’t want the relationship to be based solely on money, because you know a couple months down the road you won’t have it, don’t wine and dine from the start.  Every so often go somewhere or buy them something so they know to expect something every so often and not frequently.  If you don’t want the relationship to be based solely on sex learn to say no sometime. That goes for men and women.  If you are having sex straight out of the gate then the other person is going to expect to have it so often in the rest of the relationship.  See sex is a powerful thing so don’t abuse it because if it gets boring to you there will no longer be a relationship if you have nothing else to fall back on.  Whatever you do from jump you are expected to do for the relationship. I’m not trying to justify cheating but if you are too selfish to make the relationship work then you have caused your own problem.

Doing something from the start then not doing it anymore is like false advertisement.  If you women get a man and you cook for him every time he comes over for the first two or three weeks what do you expect him to think is going happen the next time he comes over?  And men if you take your woman out to the movies every Saturday for a month or two what do you expect them to think is going to happen for the rest of the relationship?  Those might be some extreme examples they might not but ultimately you are starting a routine and if you can’t continue with that routine you are going to have problems.  So if you know you aren’t going to follow through on what you started then you shouldn’t have done it in excess.  If you like cooking for your man but you know your not going to keep cooking for him do it sparingly.  If he comes over 4 times a week maybe cook for him once and the other times if snack it up.  The less you do it the more he can appreciate it.  If you like going out with your woman but you know that you won’t be able to afford it down the stretch do it sparingly.  If you are going out every Saturday out of the month cut it down two every other Saturday or one Saturday and something inexpensive.  The less you do it the more she can appreciate it.  I see it like this, if you start off the relationship this way they know what to expect and really can’t complain about it because it’s not like you were doing a whole lot before and now you are doing less.        

Final Thought:

As far as the boredom thing goes you have to know how much you like this person. You have to know if you want to make it work.  If you are on the other end of that you have to learn how to come up off of yourself and handle your business because if you don’t somebody else will.