After talking to people about my page I have realized that I am opening peoples eyes and minds.  Mission accomplished. 

Re-Cap

I've been cool lately. This weekend I helped my Uncle move from 10am-10pm with more than a sufficient amount of breaks lol. Even though it is more work than I've done since October it was a good experience.  I got to chill with family and have a few laughs while accomplishing something.  

Deep Thought: Bad Relationships

It’s been a while since I wrote about relationships but I feel like this is a better time than any.   I’m going to do it a little different though.  Let’s talk about bad relationships and why people stay in them.  This might seem like a combination of earlier posts but it’s fresh.  I guess the real reason I’m posting this is because this has kind of been on my mind for a while… you know observing things. 

So first of all, why do we (collectively) put ourselves in these situations?  I believe a lot of it has to do with love and patience.  It has to do with love because a lot of people will make a lot of bad decisions to find it and patience because a lot of people don’t have enough of it to wait for love.  I’m speaking from experience when I say being loved is probably one of the best feelings in the world and after you’ve experienced it it’s hard to live without it.  Even if it isn’t or wasn’t love when you lose that feeling it’s tough.  It’s almost like you go through withdraw.  I guess if you viewed love as a drug it would be more easily understood.  Think about it, when someone is doing a drug like heroin its ecstasy for them but when they stop taking it they go through serious withdraw symptoms.  It’s the same with love.  Maybe the example I gave was a little extreme but it’s still very accurate.  Other common ways people might get into dead end relationships are simply peer pressure or just hooking up with someone because they look cute.  I’m not trying to make the whole post about love or infatuation or whatever but it plays a big part and can mess you up.  If there is always rain in your life you are going to look for shelter the only problem is you might be looking for shelter in the wrong place.

When we figure out we are in bad relationships why do we stay in them?  I’ll give you the maybes:  Maybe their partner is abusive (verbally, mentally and/or physically) and they are afraid to leave because of the repercussions that may follow, maybe their partner is the only way they can stay on top of the social totem pole, maybe they feel like they can change their boyfriend or girlfriend or maybe their boyfriend or girlfriend is the one who took their virginity or opened their eyes to the idea that they can be loved in so many different ways.  I guess the most difficult scenario to get out of is if the relationship is physically abusive but that’s another topic.  There are many reasons why we keep ourselves in these situations but there is one reason in particular I want to talk about and that is infatuation and denial or disbelief.  A lot of people believe they are in love when they know they are not and that is their excuse to stay in a bad relationship.  I guess the only thing worse than believing you are in love with someone is believing that they are in love with you when it’s quite the opposite.  Is that gullibility? Possibly.  Is it denial? Possibly. Whatever the problem is the issue needs to be addressed.  If you are being dogged or cheated on what kind of love is that?  The best example of this might be in Eve’s “Love is Blind.” If you haven’t heard the song you probably won’t know exactly what I’m talking about.  If you are lying to yourself that says a lot about your character and if you continue to lie to yourself it becomes apparent that you are a weak minded individual and you have some growing up to do.  You have to be true to yourself.  Take a honest look at the situation and you decide if you are going to live in a fairy tale or if you are going to wake up and take control of your life.

Love is a crazy thing that will make you do crazy things but you have to know when it’s not love anymore.  For example: In an earlier post I said trust is the most important element in a relationship and if you love someone you have to be honest with them.  I was in a relationship where a girlfriend continued to lie to me and even after we broke up she still lies to me whether she knows I know it or not.  Well if she reads my page she’ll know.  She continued to say that she loved me but her inability to be honest showed me otherwise.  So I had to end it.

Everyone can’t accept the fact that their partner doesn’t really love them.  They might luv them but they don’t love them.  “Luv” is just an expression people use to say “I like you and everything but when it comes down to it you and your feelings are expendable.”  When you realize that you are working with luv and not love then you need “man up” and do what you have to do.  

Final thought:

Sometimes we can’t see it coming but when it does it comes hard.  The older you grow the more you realize that it is a lot easier to get into a relationship then it is to get out of one.  But if you are in a bad relationship you have to know that even if there is temporary satisfaction, in the long run it is going to hurt you.  It’s like this… if you have your hand over an open fire there are one of two things you can do: 1) keep your hand there or 2) pull it away.  Some people would keep it there because as much as their hand hurts being there it hurts even more to pull it away even though the longer their hand stays there the more damage the fire is doing to it.  Just like relationships.  Some people stay in bad relationships because even though they are being hurt they feel like it will hurt them more to get out of the relationship even though the longer they stay there the more damage they are doing to themselves.  It’s your choice, are you going to keep your hand in the fire?  Or are you going to move it?